Billy McEwan
12 Reasons (and counting) Why Billy McEwan Is A Better Manager Than Mourinho / Ferguson / Wegner Put Together.
He's never made a multi million pound mistake when signing a player.
And he's never been refused a million pounds by the board for a new signing.
He's got a decent coat (and a sexy white kit).
He's never been on a UEFA disciplinary charge.
He doesn't throw tea cups at his international players or kick boots into their faces.
He's never misses a bad tackle.
He'll come along to supporters' meetings and talk happily about his plans for the club.
He'll never be tempted away by an international position.
He speaks the same language as all his players.
He doesn’t demand the latest Ferrari as part of his contract.
He's never made a mistake big enough to splash all over the tabloids.
He's never upset The English FA (any other FA) by refusing to release players for international duty. Although he gets upset when they come back crooked.
After the Carlsle 6-0, he said he's had interest from bigger clubs. No one chases any of the The Fun Boy 3.
Nor do The Fun Boy 3 get money thrown at them in the way did Billy when he appealed for cash to save our reserves.
He's got an 18 month contract, Ferguson's new one is only a 12 month rolling one.
He lets the mascot into the dressing room to meet the team 10 minutes before kick off.
He complains about the team's poor performance after a 4-0 win.
On arriving at the club, one of his first tasks was to give the dressing rooms a thorough cleaning before explaining to the YTS boys that in future they had to keep them just as clean.
When he wants a player, he goes, lays his money down and won't be forced up in price, Unlike, say Mourinho, whose opening bid for Essien was £10m and the eventual price almost £26m.
Unlike Wegner, he's prepared to give young offenders a second chance. Just ask The PACY Project, whose young offenders are smartening up KK Crescent. Meanwhile, Wegner offloads Pennant asap.
He's got a better record in the FA Cup 4th Qualifying Round than that tiresome trio put together. Undefeated.
His experience extends to FA Cup Round 1 defeats which none of those top dogs have ever experienced.
Says what he means and does what he says, never afraid to upset his senior players if they don't pull their weight.
Doesn't need a short back and sides to take his team towards the top of the table.
Doesn't bring managers into disrepute by chasing contracted megabuck earning England internationals like Ashley Cole or Owen Hargreaves.
Enjoyed a successful playing career in Scotland and England.
And you thought there were only 12!
If you liked this, try this, or that or the other.
If not, try this or visit the Scarborough FC web site or email Alastair.
Kit Kat Crescent