new frontiers (issue 8)

Dear Phyllis....

new frontiers has received so many letters asking for help, we've started a problem page.

Dear Phyllis,

When I became a manager, I was suceesf always winning. Then one day, a strange man offered me lots of money to manage Sundalend. Then I was sacked. Then Brisstel City sacked me. My best players, such as Marco Gabi Gabbard, the Italian one and Andy Coal, didn't want to play for me and left. Now I work in Oxford. Jim my best player left, it surprised the papers but not me. In fact, the rest would leave if they were any good. What do I have to do to be a winner? My team are near the bottom of the table.

Denis, Oxford

PHYLLIS SAYS: Tough, perhaps you should ask an old friend if you have one left. Or, try a new deodorant.

Dear Phyllis,

I keep getting nuisance phone calls. I think I recognise the voice, but can't quite place it.

Viv, no fixed abode

PHYLLIS SAYS: Contact BT, they will solve your problem.

Dear Phyllis,

Being a polite young lad, I always let elderly people go first, give up my seat for them, you know the sort of thing. I generally like to help them out. But, this is starting to cause me problems. I have been kind to an old geezer named Stanley, I gave him my shirt on a cold day, gave him my seat on the coach. Now, he has kept my shirt and generally causes me grief. Even my dad won't let me play with the big boys any more. I feel like running away.

Ray "Razor" W, York

PHYLLIS SAYS: Stay put, I'm sure your family don't want you to run away. The old man that you talk about, I guess he is a friend not family, will get tired of going out on cold days. When he does, I'm sure that he will return your shirt. I'm equally sure that your dad will let you play with the big boys soon.

Dear Phyllis,

Every time I go skiing, I miss a York City game. Last March the game at Barnet. This Christmas the game at Blackpool. What should I do?

Chris, London

PHYLLIS SAYS: I've sent your letter to Mr Craig at Bootham Crescent, suggesting that he pays for you to go skiing every week. We could do with a few more City 5 goal wins.

Dear Phyllis,

I've just got a new job. The perks of my last job have gone. No chance of a quick bung on the side in a brown paper bag, my every move is carefully watched by the media and the whole nation.

Tel, Bribes, Kensington

PHYLLIS SAYS: I'm sure that your new job will work out, give it time. Stick at it, don't let it get you down.

Send your problem to New Frontiers. We'll do our best to help you.


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